My earnings so far
I had not realised how truly self conscious I am until doing this challenge.
What is absolutely amazing, is that so many of us had the same struggle. Not feeling good enough and apologising about our current inexperience. Being afraid. Worried about what we think of ourselves and what others will think about us.
What is it about human nature that we are so terribly quick to see the flaws in ourselves? Those internal critical voices are persistent and LOUD.
For all of us who have done our videos…great stuff. For those of you who are working on them…good luck. For those of you who think you will not be able to do this…think again. You can.
So feeling a bit sick to my stomach with nerves…here is my first YouTube video.
Everyone who knows me thinks I have gone stark raving bonkers.
In June 2013 I made the decision to flee from a career as a lawyer here in Northern Ireland, where I was utterly miserable.
Yes, the money was reasonably good, but not as good as a lot of people think it is, and not good at all for 60 hour work weeks, difficult clients and difficult cases as a family lawyer, stressed out solicitors and even more stressed out judges, many of whom went out of their way to make your working life just that bit more difficult.
It took me about two years to find the courage to walk away from the golden handcuffs.
How on earth was I going to pay the bills? I don’t have a partner, so a one income household was going to be a no income household…for a while…until I figured out a new way of making a living for myself.
The reason for the delay in my escape was the idea of losing my home as the mortgage company would not be sympathetic about my inability to pay in order to pursue my dreams of writing about skin problems to help other people and use my experience of having psoriasis for 38 years.
After a day of thinking really long and hard about all the uncertainty my departure from a career would bring, I looked at my lovely wee home which was the one thing I did not want to lose.
Then THE thought came…If I were to die tomorrow, the bricks and mortar of my home would remain for my sisters to put up for sale. Once I lost that attachment to my home and accepted that I was willing to lose it in my quest for a different way of living, then peace came to me and the wig and gown are gathering dust in a drawer.
One of my favourite books is “The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying” by Bronnie Ware.
Regret number 1 : “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.
So, I have minimised the chance of that regret in my life.
I have found a kernel of courage and since June 2013, I have written one ebook, written half a second ebook, got the rights to market a locally produced seaweed lotion which helps problem skin, have created two finished websites with another two gradually taking shape, learned to cut and paste, learned about facebook pages and google+ pages and created a number of them about different skin problems, listed my product on amazon.com and uk, watched endless tutorials, gathered up a few shiny objects along the way, nearly thrown my laptop out the window in sheer frustration when I couldn’t figure out what I was trying to do, came across a number of mean, money grabbing interent marketing GOOORROOOS, met a greater number of helpful people who have the same struggles as me, yet remain generous with their time and sharing of helpful information, worked many a day for 12-14 hours (in my pyjamas), and embracing all the uncertainty my new way of living my one and only life has to offer.
I have yet to make one penny online.
So, I am part of the clan that is The Quick Start Challenge with Dean Holland, Clay Crawford and JF Garsula.
I am writing this post because that is what was suggested to me.
There’s not much point in having a dream in the absence of action.
And, if it turns out I am bonkers…then I am in the right place with all the other bonkers dreamers in the challenge.